The father in church intoned
What, she thought warily
Gratify the needs of the flesh, he preached.
Why not, she mused, smiling at the one
Sitting beside her, oblivious to the sermon
It is beautiful to love and be loved.
What’s there to be scared
When love exists deep in your soul
No amount of denying can bring peace.
So the other day the father in church was talking about how it is a sin to gratify the needs of the flesh. And all I could think about was why, why is he so scared, why does the church seem scared of sexual union. Isn’t that how the priest exists, because his parents decided to have sex (unless he was conceived clinically in a petri dish). Why does our society fear sex, why does it have such a bad connotation? Why couldn’t the father bring in love, why couldn’t he say that if you feel a connection or if you really love the person then it is beautiful, otherwise, it might end in heartache. It’s not only the father… while hanging out with friends, they talk about sex with their partners, and they term it dirty talk. Why is it dirty? How can something so wonderful and beautiful be dirty? I don’t know.
I was hanging out with a few other friends and we were thinking where to go when I suggested a beautiful park, but they were quick to say that the park is mostly populated with couples and might be sleazy. I found it funny. I’ve seen couples in Paris, along the Seine, many many couples, just kissing and necking, hugging and doing all the cute stuff that warms my heart. I find it all so cute and normal, it’s beautiful; it’s liberating to be yourself and love someone like crazy, you don’t know how so much love could exist in you. Back home, society seems to think it is wrong and thus they turn something beautiful, something natural into something sleazy. I wonder when we’ll be liberated enough to display our love without feeling that it is something bad.
Looking at our ancient temples, one wouldn’t think that we, Indians, perceived sex as something inherently bad. Our temples have some of the most graphic depictions of every kind of sexual activity. I guess, it was pretty normal back then, in fact, it is sacred. Most temples have the lingam (phallic) and yoni sculptures and their creative power is acknowledged in worship. Somewhere along the way with the three C’s of colonialism (Civilisation, Christianity, and Commerce) things seem to have changed drastically. On an interesting note, the following passage about the Sentinelese tribe depicts the stark difference in the way sex is perceived by us and them. When some researchers were observing the tribe from their ships, they noticed that the Sentinelese people did not associate sexual intercourse with shame, guilt or perversity.
At this moment, a strange thing happened – a woman paired off with a warrior and sat on the sand in a passionate embrace. This act was being repeated by other women, each claiming a warrior for herself: a sort of community mating. Thus did the militant group diminish. This continued for quite some time and when the tempo of this frenzied dance of desire abated, the couples retired into the shade of the jungle. However some warriors were still on guard. We got close to the shore and threw some more fish which were immediately retrieved by a few youngsters. It was well past noon and we headed back to the ship.
The women sound pretty cool to me, what should be a natural act is regarded as a natural act and nothing more. I think in a society like this, where everyone is in the nude, the female form cannot be objectified. If everyone were to roam around naked in the world, there would be no commodification of the female species. And porn, would the Sentinelese be obsessed with it… like our society is? I guess not, cause sex is not something that is hushed up and kept a mystery. Of course, I have no idea whether they have multiple partners or whether couples decide to stay together or whether they have birth control methods or if they deal with STD’s. Anyway, sex is neither good nor bad, it is natural and how one tends to act upon it, determines how they perceive it.